Back when I first got married, we lived on the south side of Chicago for a short while.
It was Easter Sunday “our first” and Zion Lutheran Church was three blocks away, so we decided to walk.
I had on my Sunday best. A beautiful knee length cream colored dress, with shear long sleeves that slightly belled at the wrist. It was tapered at the waist with a silk tie, and although I can’t recall the true fabric the dress itself was made of, it just flowed with the wind and every step I’d make. It reminded me of one of those glamorous dresses you’d see on tv, that just danced behind you when you walked. Oh… that dress was so beautiful. Made me feel extra good when I was in it ‘cuz y’all know I thought I was lookin cute that day right…?
I made one last pit-stop before we headed out the door and we were on our way. We walked hand in hand yuckin-it-up the whole time grinning like buckey- beaver. Tony (my husband) had on this suit and y’all know that man was lookin good and smellin good too. ‘course he always smelled good any way, but it was sumthin about that suit that brought out all the senses!
Further down the block we came across other couples that had the same idea. I smiled and spoke, making eye contact with each one. The men blushed as they spoke and for some reason the women pulled them along cutting their eyes in my direction as if I were a church hussy or some type of heathen. I thought to myself; I don’t want ‘yo man… I got this fine brotha right here by my side… “my husband” so goan ‘bout ‘yo long-head, heifers! (you know folk can make you lose your religion)
The church was in clear view and this woman paused next to me for a moment before she passed. “Excuse me…” she pointed to the side of my dress. “You have something on your dress.” she continued, now making her way to the church steps. I thanked her and immediately began brushing the side of my dress. Y’all know I was about to panic, because I just couldn’t imagine a spot on that beautiful dress, and not one that I myself had missed!
I asked Tony if he saw anything and he said he didn’t. You know how men are, they don’t see stuff like we do, so I stopped this woman as we approached the steps, and asked her if she saw anything on my dress. I told her what the other woman said that I had something on my dress and wanted to know if she saw anything. (I’m country folk and we don’t mind stopping and asking stuff)
The woman was nice and seemed down to earth, an old skool sistah ‘ya know. She looked at me and said… “Ain’t nuthin on ‘yo dress and I don’t know why that woman would say that, but the whole back-ka ‘yo dress is inside ‘yo pantyhose.”
‘Y’all can imagine the look I had on my face right? I was completely mortified!! There we stood pulling the back of my dress outta my pantyhose! I had walked for 3 blocks, only to discover at the church steps, my ass was showing the whole time!
The woman told me not to worry and thanked the heavens above that I was at least wearing a pair of cute “little pannies”.
Tony stood behind me raising my dress once more… “Aw yeah, those are nice…” referring to my pannies like a nutt!! I took hold of my dress and cut him a mean look…
“Now you notice!”